From Fear to Freedom: My Testimony

I want to share my testimony to show how amazing God is. Some of you might resonate with me, and I hope we can all be encouraged together. I grew up in a pretty strict Christian household and was surrounded by a church culture that often used fear to teach obedience. From a young age, I knew God was real, but my understanding of Him was shaped mostly by fear. I saw Him as a judge who sent people to hell if they disobeyed. I believed that being a Christian meant being perfect, and I failed.

Before God

As I entered adolescence, I faced many battles, both internal and external. I struggled heavily with insecurity, self-image, and self-worth. I experienced verbal and physical abuse from my uncle who lived in the home with me. I also experienced betrayal and harm from individuals in my church - people I had trusted. These experiences caused bitterness, anger, and confusion. I was filled with deep secrets, shame and guilt. My burden was heavy, and I lived in fear of hell (Romans 6:23).

Praise God, because He pursued me at my lowest point. Around the age of 15, I attended Abundant Life Ministry (ALM), a multicultural Friday night service led by Sister Len and Brother Bawi. My younger brother invited me to join, so I did. The first words Sister Len spoke to me were, "Par, do you still have sin?" That question shocked me and pierced my heart, but it marked the beginning of my genuine search for the gospel.

All my life, I only view God as a strict judge, as someone who can/will send me to hell. So for the first time, I heard about God’s love, grace, forgiveness, and salvation - not as something I had to earn, but as a gift given to me through Jesus Christ, the Son of God (Ephesians 2:8). Imagine the shock and overwhelming relief of finally hearing that God loves you and wants to pursue you.

After God

Despite knowing the truth that salvation is a gift, receiving it was a process for me because of the guilt I carried. I thought, Surely this is a fairy tale. How could anyone truly love me and forgive me of my sins? The thing was, I listened to my thoughts. But I had to throw away my thoughts and only listen to the Word of God. After months of wrestling, praying, seeking, and under the mentorship of Sister Len, it finally clicked. The Holy Spirit helped me understand the gospel and accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Like Christian in The Pilgrim’s Progress, I felt the weight of my burden fall off at the foot of the cross. I tasted the ultimate freedom (Romas 6:18). I no longer feared hell, and God began His sanctifying work in me.

2021 Best Summer Mission (Providence, RI)

I remember the first time I share the gospel to my younger brother and my best friend (Matthew 28:19). I started to became more active in church, my community, and at college. I went on my first summer mission trip in 2021, which confirmed my calling to serve. I continue to grow and mature in my faith, slowly, through reading the Bible, praying, and listening to sermons. Some of the preachers and missionaries who helped me grow in the early stages of my faith were Pastor Ock Soo Park, Billy Graham, John Piper, Paul Washer, Sailo Thang, and Tuan Peng Thang. I highly recommend listening to them.

Be Thou My Vision

God has always been with me, from the day I was born to now. My favorite hymn, Be Thou My Vision, reminds me that this life is a journey with Jesus, and I want to walk with Him. My only desire is to serve Him, follow His will, and one day hear Him say, “Well done.” Being a Christian is not about perfection but progression. No matter how many times we fall down, God will never leave us (Hebrew 13:5). And we don't have to live in fear or be afraid anymore, because He defeated the world for us (John 16:33).

Salvation for the World

Salvation is the gift of God, given to everyone who is willing to receive it (John 3:16). I once thought my sin was too big to be forgiven. But I was wrong. God’s love is so much more bigger. We shouldn't let our sins stop us from going to Jesus. Let's throw away our thoughts (the thoughts that tells us lies) and accept the love Jesus has given us.